Invest in these 5 Things While You’re Single

As a formal single girlie, I often look back at that time with an eye of appreciation and fondness. If there’s anything, being single gave me extraordinary strength and the ability to really lean into myself and my powers. Being in a relationship offers a tremendous amount of support (emotionally, financially) and validation. These things are often not as apparent when you’re single. Therefore, you’re forced to learn how to be independent and self-reliant— both of which are wonderful attributes, in my opinion. If there’s some advice I can give to my fabulous single friends, here are five of the top ones.

Remember, staying single and being happy with yourself is better than being with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship. Being in a relationship doesn’t automatically grant you a ticket to not being lonely.

Feeling lonely and being in solidarity are also completely different things. Loneliness is an emotional response to lacking something in your life. Most of the time, people seek out relationships to fill another void in their life. Being in solidarity is a choice that brings personal peace, freedom, and/or fulfilment. There are plenty of people who stay in relationships yet feel lonely in them. There are plenty of people who are in solitude yet don’t feel alone.

If your heart is full with something you love, it’s less likely you’ll feel anxious or worried about not having a partner.

#1 Travel, Travel, & Travel

Don’t get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with travelling with your partner. In the recent year, I’ve been travelling more with mine, and we’ve been having an absolute blast together. Things are also much easier with cost-sharing and not having to look at Google Maps! However, I like to think of myself as the type of person who can travel in different ways so that I can have that experience and the ability to contrast.

Travelling solo and travelling with friends have ingrained memories in me that I will NEVER forget. I’ve been to Mexico, New York, Paris, and Spain with friends, and Europe and Los Angeles, solo. It almost felt like a rite of passage the first time I traveled alone—even when everyone thought I was crazy or brave for doing so.

Traveling alone is a very empowering experience for a woman. It forces you to sometimes be in very uncomfortable situations (sleeping in hostels because you can’t afford to sleep in hotels full time, getting lost ten times, crying yourself to sleep, talking to strangers..etc). Still, the positive experiences will outweigh the bad tenfold.

You make more friends (some lifelong ones).

You feel more ALIVE at the peak of whatever hike you did by yourself.

You are more reflective and attuned to what you want to get out of your life.

You cry hard but love harder.

When you get back from your trip, you’ll walk with your chest up higher. That’s the type of confidence that you can’t assign a dollar value to.

Traveling with friends is a whole other beast. And it’s sooo-much-fun.

You have someone to go dancing with, get lost with, sip cocktails on the rooftop patio and spill tea with, sing karaoke until 3 am at a sketchy bar; a companion, one which you’ll create a flurry of chaotic, cringey, hilarious, and at the same time beautiful memories. As questionable as they may be. Your travels together will become something special, like an inside joke you’ll always have with the person (or group of people).

Have these experiences while you’re unhitched; learn to enjoy and savour them because one day, you’ll look back and have something to smile at. Dingey hostels and all. For me, I can close my eyes and see myself smiling and dancing into the night at a local club in Greece, swimming through the volcanoes with new friends, and feeling the Mediterranean breeze on my skin, the sweat, and the glory.

#2 Financial Literacy

It’s really important to have at least basic knowledge of financial management before you get into a serious relationship. Lack of financial literacy can negatively impact your relationships, especially in your prime years. During your twenties and thirties, the topic of money is more likely to come up, and more often than not, it can become a heated point of contention.

I think it’s especially crucial for women to get a firm grip on their finances. Traditionally, women were not taught to think about money, how to earn it, how to earn more, and how to manage their money. It’s still very common for men in relationships to earn the majority share of income. It’s important for anyone, not just women, to maintain financial independence, even if they make less than their partners. Never rely on your partner or anyone financially because you never know what’s going to happen to that person or this relationship.

Put aside money for a rainy day (savings) and invest in stocks, EFTs, and index funds, as these historically will make you more money in the long run. If you don’t have a system to lock money away, you’re going to end up spending it in your day-to-day.

Be cautious when it comes to lending money or investing money with anyone, even friends and family. Most of the time, this can lead to a little dent in the relationship, especially when there’s an outstanding balance on paper. Investing in projects— refrain from ‘going in” on an investment scheme with friends or family unless it’s an actual business. These usually turn out to be scams (yes, crypto and NFTs included), and sometimes your well-intentioned friend who wants to make some passive income isn’t even aware.

#3 Career

Everyone who comes out of post-secondary will tell you how they wished they started working on their career earlier. But fear not, if you’re a late bloomer like me, you can make anything happen regardless of what age you’re at. Sheer determination and hard work can change your life in ways you couldn’t imagine. 

Relationships take up energy and resources. If you’re single, you can put the majority of your energy and resources into making your career grow and flourish. By the time you get into a relationship, you’ll already have tried different career paths and gained the necessary experience that will make any career transitions easier. Personally, I don’t think it’s a bad thing if someone is holding off on making serious commitments when they’re in the grind phase of their life. But it’s also important to know when it’s okay to start putting your feelers out once you’re established in your work and purpose.

#4 Health and Fitness

Couple’s weight gain is a real thing; which is why it’s essential you build up healthy, lifelong habits of getting physical activity and eating nutritiously. A lot of this can go out the window when you start living with someone with different lifestyle habits. Because I’ve created the habit of working out over the years, I actually enjoy it, and it doesn’t feel like a chore. I live with a pretty sedentary startup guy but have been able to maintain my ritual of working out and eating somewhat healthy.

Feeling healthy, energized and looking good makes me happy. And I’m glad I built up these habits while single.

#5 Hobbies

Your hobbies are your thing. It’s not something you HAVE to share with your partner, and honestly, it’s the thing I wish I picked up when I was single. Hobbies force you to carve out needed time for yourself and help with building a sense of identity that’s not interconnected with your partner. Many couples that lack hobbies end up with the potato couch syndrome. All they do when they have free time is spend it on the couch watching shows. Although there’s nothing wrong with a little Netflix binge, it’s also a healthy practice to spend time apart and work on something that challenges or intrigues your brain. Getting better at something outside of work is a positive self-reinforcer. It’s important that even in a relationship, you maintain your own sense of identity and you have things you enjoy doing for yourself, and not just to please your partner.

Ending Thoughts

If you’re single right now or even if you’re in a relationship, make sure you cherish these five things as near and dear as you can. I can assure you that most of the time you feel a sense of loneliness or void, a relationship is not always the answer.

Are you truly fulfilled in your career?

Do you feel deeply aligned with a purpose or your calling?

Do you have a circle of close and trustworthy friendships?

Do you feel a sense of vitality?

Are you confident in your finances?

Do you look forward to waking up every morning?
I’d advise you to answer these questions first before you start searching arduously for a relationship. Chances are you need to find yourself before finding a partner.

Want to avoid getting trapped into toxic relationships or flings early on? Make sure you check out my Ultimate Guide on Red Flags, to avoid common pitfalls in dating.