Niched Down: Why I Left PR— The Career that Ended up Draining Me

The art of public relations, PR, for short, is not all that it’s cut out to be on TV: boss babes, pink pantsuits, assistants, and skim lattes. It’s more attuned, based on personal experience, with hours spent pouring over minute details, people pleasing, and a lot of reading, editing, and redoing. It’s a people game blended with mechanical internal systems. But at the end of the day, it’s the promise of big green signs in return.

I entered the world of PR as a writer, and in the beginning, it got even me a little doe-eyed. Although I wasn’t working with A-list celebrities, I got to peep into the lives and processes of a different breed of individuals— high-level entrepreneurs making millions of dollars a year. It was our task to get them visible in magazines and the news.

At first, it felt like an intimate career. I spent the majority of my days, watching and reading in-depth interview transcripts of multiple people around the world. I wrote autobiographies, getting into the nitty gritty details of someone’s history, challenges, and victories.

But then, it all got very tiring.

This is not a fairytale of how I got my ‘dream’ career in PR. This is the story of how my career in PR was interrupted and cut short, for reasons I’m glad I followed now.

My central piece of advice throughout the blog: Don’t stay in a career because it feeds an external desire; choose one that you feel inherently excited about, day in and day out.

Love at First Forbes

The first time I saw the person I would eventually begin working for, it was actually on a digital publication cover. Yes, the pristine, royal blue cover we’re all familiar with that starts with the letter F. This publication birthed the infamous 30U30 and billionaires lists that entrepreneurs have long clad tight to their LinkedIn descriptions like platinum armour.

Of course, you do research on the person you’re about to meet. And in my case, it was easy—  practically the first thing that came up. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was specifically designed to be that way. The first rule in PR, you are who they see.

Your status, credibility, and even financial status can be determined by what is said about you online. Most people these days aren’t going to call you up and ask for a bank statement, they’ll google you.

Anyways— think of it like this. I’m fresh out of university and had just come back from a whirlwind month-long trip in Europe. The fire is burning high in my belly to get my career started, in any shape or form. Although in the beginning, we met on a personal level, it was soon apparent that a working relationship was about to be birthed. And before I get any further into the story, I want to say that although this career didn’t work out for me, it doesn’t mean I don’t maintain a respectable working relationship with this person, even today.

First Impressions Don’t Tell All

My first task was to crunch out a PR article. That was done in 4 hours. Once I passed, my next task was to rewrite an article for a pretty prominent business publication. That, I excitedly typed out in the car on phone notes.

It was all fine and dandy in the beginning— I got assigned plenty of work. It was nothing too difficult, a rinse-and-repeat process for me. Read, absorb, and produce.

I could make $300 USD in 6 hours per day— coming to about $50/hour for writing ($60- if you convert it to CA dollars) That was pretty decent for me at the time, again coming fresh out of college.

I would get fatigued throughout the day but thought that was the nature of any job. I didn’t notice that my writing was gradually no longer reflecting creativity or truth, but pure bias towards only one side of a story I was writing. People paid big bucks to be reflected in a certain way. Keep in mind, for most of my adult life, I considered true journalism to be articles in the New York Times or The Atlantic.

I called myself a journalist, but truthfully, I was nothing close to it.

When the initial glitteriness of PR faded away, all I was left with was exhaustion and boredom. Having to write articles that I thought were purely dubious.

My relationship with my superior was straining too in the new year. Because I found myself utterly uninspired by the work, and one day, breaking down into tears in public, I lent myself up for more administrative duties like hiring and documentation. I planted a seed in myself of the type of work culture and environment I wanted to manifest. Not understanding that sometimes you can’t insert yourself into a machine that doesn’t have the same DNA. You will ultimately feel rejected, and alone, and get spit out by it.

The Beginnings of Burnout

I didn’t know the repercussions of staying at an unfulfilling job would have such a long-lasting impact on my mental health.

To give context, I felt an electrifying dose of anxiety in my chest every time I saw a message pop up on WhatsApp. Eventually, I muted every single group chat. 

When I packed my bags and went to LA to work for a month, I found it increasingly hard to concentrate and do the thing I was best at doing— writing. I could not sit down for more than 10 minutes without my mind fluttering away.

When nighttime came, I would comfort myself with a bottle of opened Cabernet from the gas station.

Arriving home, things did not get any better. Work was incredibly slow, and I found myself not only not being able to financially sustain myself, but practically miserable in the environment.

It took me months to gain the courage to finally get up and leave.

In July, when I moved into my new apartment, I took a full week off work to decompress and reflect. I remember feeling so utterly tired.

The entire summer was a mess mentally. I found myself in severe and depressive states— even when I had luxury at my doorstep. For the first time, I had thoughts of no longer wanting to be in the world. I felt angry, resentful, and ultimately, very, very sad.

I thought finally exiting the tormenting 5 years I spent in university would result in a freer, happier life. I imagined at this point in my life, I would finally be pursuing some sort of meaningful career. Instead, I was broke, felt helpless, and directionless.

I had no clue what to make of my life.

This would I guess would mark the beginning of a long and difficult path toward finding happiness and meaning.

I’m Not Talking Shit About PR— or any other career path

I am almost certain some people love their jobs in PR. I’m merely describing a very narrow and niched stream I worked in. Perhaps you’re someone who does wear your colourful blazers and gets to interact with amazing brands or individuals. I love the glitz and the glam that can sometimes come with the PR industry— I mean who doesn’t love industry cocktails events and swag bags?

I’m only saying that the image we have in mind is probably a fraction of the reality.

When it comes to careers, we often have a preconceived notion of what we would like or not like. The fact is, don’t knock it until you try it.

In my case, I took a blinded leap, failed, and picked up the pieces from there to drive me toward my next career. At the trade show this past week, many asked me if “I had worked in this industry prior, or what I did before I got into my marketing management position.” I was proud to say I came from PR, and no I did not have prior experience in the NH industry. But you know what? The transition was seamless because I’m truly passionate about not only NH but learning and overcoming problems. And trust me, every industry or company comes with its host of problems.

There will always be parallels in your life experience and skills to the next thing you’re thinking of pursuing. You don’t have to fit the perfect mould to get the career you want, so in some ways, ‘fake it till you make it sis.’

How I decided to go into marketing 

For a more detailed account of how I got into marketing, I highly encourage you to check out my last post on how I pivoted my career in less than six months here.

But to put it plainly, I got into marketing for the following reasons:

Proximity: My partner owns a marketing agency so I got some influence (and lots of encouragement) from him.

Results: Marketing is not all whiteboard and games. It’s also about results: clicks, impressions, conversions, & r e v e n u e. Mama likes her results.

Endless opportunity: Every company needs marketing— small or big. There are almost endless opportunities and different tactics and applications you’ll customize for each unique company or startup.

Sure, marketing is not usually as lucrative as sales—but I would argue it serves as a perfect compliment or precursor to sales. Both marketing and sales require you to have a very nuanced understanding of the product or service you need to sell to customers. Knowing marketing helps you form the language and basis to sell at a high level.

Working in PR writing, I crunched out articles and kissed them goodbye. It all went under pseudo names or names of different authors of that publication. I never had relationships with any of the clients, and was left with only transcripts to ‘get to know them’. 

First rule in business: We work with people we like.

It’s hard to develop an affinity towards someone from watching a 30-minute interview or reading something about them on their website.

You work harder when you know who’s getting the end of the stick. This bias exists, and you’re lying if you say it doesn’t.

As I started my consulting career, I try to form great working relationships with my clients. I truly come to adore them as people, their products, and startups. I find this style of working to be far more personally fulfilling than the robotic and cold process I encountered in PR.

Is Marketing my End Game?

I always find myself admiring at speaker at a conference who’s in a director or similar capacity, and have been at this marketing game for 10-20 years.

To be frank, that’s never been me and I don’t anticipate that changing. I am the self-proclaimed queen of reinvention and I know that in a couple of years, I might be doing something completely different.

I merely see my marketing career as another tool in the toolbox. Marketing skills will inevitably come to help me in my other career pursuits later in life.

Even with PR, I’ve learned a great deal about how to put a person or product on the best display. And for god sake, to have some type of professional presence online.

So many people, including myself, get caught up in the shame or failure of not loving a career choice anymore. Life is short, but your career is long, and it will be what you make of it. Sometimes pivoting, and adding a more diverse set of tools to your personal toolbox will serve you in ways and magnitudes later that you’ll never imagine.

You may ‘quit’ a career now, only to come back to it years later with a completely fresh perspective and a different environment.

If you have a great passion for what you do, but are feeling unhappy at work, you may be the wrong culture fit for the company. Back to what I said in the beginning, first impressions can be faulty. When you first enter a company, things are fine and dandy because both you and your colleagues are on the best behaviour. You see what they want you to see, and vice versa. It’s only later on when you get to know who you’re dealing with every day. And if you don’t feel like you truly belong now, don’t think you’ll feel different in 2 or 5 years.

No one wants to feel stuck, alone, or unhappy. But ultimately, no one is going to force you to do anything. It’s up to you to make that call when the time is right.

I hope you know that where you are now, is just one step into a world of endless possibilities and points of entry.