3 Mindful Tips to Keep in Personal Relationships

When it comes to our personal relationships, all of us have our weaknesses. As for myself, I have a difficult time these days remembering to make plans with the people I care most about. When it pertains to my intimate relationships, sometimes I say or act in ways I later regret, because I’ve given little thought over how the other person feels in the moment.

Relationships are greater menders of the soul. They give our lives more meaning and purpose, and can sometimes help us accomplish things that are overwhelming or impossible to do on our own.

This is why it’s important to apply the concept of mindfulness in our relationships, regardless of how long or how well we know the other person.

In recent years, I’ve observed microscopic shifts in attitudes and modes of communication among close friends. And I found that there was a strong correlation between these changes and heightened self-awareness.

Although these seem like small changes you can’t really put your finger on, they can significantly improve and strengthen existing bonds—especially given the busyness of early adulthood.

Here are three mindful tips to keep in mind when we’re interacting with the people we care for.

They can’t always read your mind

When we’re going through some sort of conflict, one of the first people we turn to is our friends. However, not everyone is equipped to deal with the types of issues or emotions you might be grappling with.

Sometimes, it’s simply enough that they care enough to show up for you, listen, and give some indication of empathy. They might not always know what you need at the precise moment, so it’s not wise to get agitated when you’re not feeling immediately better following their response.

We often expect people close to us to be our soundboards when we’re experiencing emotional arousal. I find this to be especially prevalent in our romantic relationships.

In the heat of the moment, it’s difficult to comprehend what the other side is experiencing, especially when it’s different than what we are. However, when you are calm. I encourage you to think back to a time when there was this tension in your interpersonal relationships.

“Remove yourself” from your own body and try to get a feel of what the other person might be thinking and what emotions are they experiencing. They might be sad, confused, frustrated..etc.

When we put our own emotions aside for a moment and try to consider how the other person might be feeling in that scenario, we’re better able to emphasize and come to a resolution. The resolution might not occur at that exact moment, but it can help us down the line when similar types of conflicts arise.

That being said, if you know exactly what you want in moments of emotional tension, you can let people in your support system know.

Some people, like myself, prefer just empathy in those moments, but others prefer a problem-solving approach.

They care and want what’s best for you

When we’re in darker places mentally, it’s common to get into these self-perpetuating cycles of self-hatred—which is then projected onto our personal relationships. You may feel completely numb and apathetic towards anything and anyone. I’ve definitely been here a couple of times, and it’s not fun because you’re truly not yourself.

We may get irritated easily by people and in turn, this can lead to tension and divisiveness.

It’s helpful to gently remind ourselves that the people in our lives genuinely love and care for us. They may say things that we don’t necessarily agree with, but it’s not coming from a place of ill-will.

Often, when we’re angry at someone for not understanding how we feel—it’s because we’re in a heightened emotional state. Think about it when you’re hungry. Anything anyone does seems annoying to you. It’s the same thing when you feel mentally overwhelmed and tired.

They might not always be showing all their cards

Well, there are some that handle emotional conflict with grace, for others, it’s hard to hide the fact that they’re going through a tough time. When we care about people, we tend to be sensitive to their emotional shifts and changes in behavior. Sometimes, we take it personally when someone’s in a bad mood. Other times, we ramble on about our own problems, failing to see that the other person may be facing their own demons.

It’s a good practice to simply slow down and address how the other person is doing in those moments.

When both sides are able to share their own experiences, without interruption, both individuals feel understood. This feeling of understanding, I think, is one of the most beautiful things about human connection.

And the more we’re able to be intentional about understanding, the better.

Conclusion

At times, it can be easy to take our personal relationships for granted. But if we want to consistently show our appreciation for the people that matter to us, we need to sometimes slow down and recalibrate our responses, especially in emotionally tense situations.

It’s never too late to own up to how you reacted. Many times when there’s interpersonal conflict, it gets brushed under the rug. If you believe you’re partially at fault and could have reacted better in a situation, it’s never too late to address it and make the other person feel validated and heard.

Sometimes, your reactions may cause hurt or confusion in the person on the receiving end.  To be mindful is also to consider the impact your words or actions have on others.