As many of you may know, I recently decided to stop drinking for a while. Why?
There are a couple of reasons.
When I got back from LA two months ago, I had looked back on the past month and saw myself slipping into a habit of drinking wine or beer every night. Now even if it was just a glass or two, I realized that in every sense, it was a crutch to get through the feelings of isolation and stress I was experiencing.
I also realized that whenever I drank, it was really difficult to stop at just one. I’m sure you can all relate to the feeling of thinking about what drink you’re going to get next right as you get your first one (or is it just me? hahah).
On a more superficial level, I wanted to see if I would slim down without the additional calories from alcohol. Alcohol is a prime suspect in bloating, all over your body, and especially on the face.
On top of that, I wanted to supercharge my fitness regime by signing up for Classpass credits for a month. Classpass is an app that allows you to visit various fitness studios across your city, with a seamless booking system and schedules you can select based on your favorite studio or the geographic region you select. I love using Classpass because of the variety you get—it’s designed for people that don’t necessarily want to commit to a month of spin classes or a month of kickboxing, but want to do a different exercise every day. It’s also a great way for people to find what their “thing” is.
Now here comes the part where I show off my before and after pictures with the after, well-defined abs and a slimmer body after a magical one-month transformation.
Just kidding! To your disappointment, my body didn’t change a heck lot. Am I mad about it?
Absolutely not.
The changes to my mind were more significant to me than how I looked in the mirror. And this month my intention, was to train a stronger mind.
I know the fitness results will come with more time and intentionality, but I’m proud of what I was able to achieve mentally in just under a month. If I didn’t supercharge my fitness goals, I definitely supercharged my brain.
Reversing my Cravings (Though not Perfectly)
Right away, I knew that if I wanted to change my habits, I was going to have to find replacements that were enjoyable to me. I ordered a case of my favorite GT Ginger Kombucha from Costco and sipped on that throughout the day. Kombucha is a naturally flavored fermented tea beverage (I know sounds gross), but hear me out. Essentially, the tea is brewed with sugar and yeast—the yeast consumes the sugar (kind of like in making bread) which contributes to the natural carbonation, the ‘fizziness’ of the drink. You’re left with a drink that’s super good for your gut and digestion (you might be finding yourself in the bathroom more!). The reason why Kombucha is a stellar substitute is because not only does it taste delicious, it gives you just a slight sensation that you’re drinking something alcoholic because of the fermentation.
My other substitution is a little more bougie. I went to one of those popup shops for Sansorium wine, an online, natural non-alcoholic beverage company. And OH MY GOSH, were they gooood. I did a full tasting essentially starting with the white wines all the way to red and a sparkling Shiraz from Australia to finish. They sourced these non-alcoholic wines from places like Napa, France, Australia, and New Zealand, and they do not compromise on flavor at all. Every single one blew me away from the buttery Chardonnay to the light and fruity Merlot. I brought these over to share and enjoy with my loved ones.
By the half-month point, I didn’t really feel the need to have substitutions anymore. Though they were nice to have occasionally, they weren’t essential for me to get by. And that’s a good sign.
The one thing I still struggled with was being in environments where my brain was trained to have alcohol. It’s immensely hard not to start craving alcohol for me, if I saw it and it’s everywhere. Especially, if your friends are all having a beautiful glass of wine to go along with a steak dinner or some red pasta. But eventually, this got easier too.
The Mental Shift
After I had left behind a great stressor in my life, I didn’t realize that my inclination to drink would go down as well. The most significant change was that I had all this energy for once.
A month ago, I didn’t have the energy to make it through dinner, much less be present with people when I was with them. After this shift in my life, I could get out of my house after a full day of work and activities, and meet up with friends Downtown at 9’o clock with a lot of energy. This is a dramatic shift for me.
I no longer felt like I needed alcohol to thrive in social situations. My mentality was that I rather spend time with people because I genuinely wanted to catch up with them, rather than use alcohol as a social binder. Alcohol shouldn’t be the centerpiece in these occasions.
I’m well aware that for many people, alcohol rarely comes into their lives this way, but for someone like me who was always used to having a drink in social settings, this was a big challenge and a shift.
Challenging my Brain through Hard Routines
Although I was still busy with work, I intentionally carved out time in my schedule or ordered it in a way where I could at least attend 2-3 Classpass sessions a week. I mostly focused on high-intensity or cardio sessions because that was what I hated doing at the gym.
The first week was CHALLENGING. I felt every part of my body hurt and during some classes, I felt my brain screaming ‘no, no, no’. I had my ass whooped. But it felt almost euphoric. I craved that sense of challenge and the feeling of overcoming it even if it was just half an hour or an hour.
I think building a sense of resilience in more than one area of your life is super important. If can overcome something really difficult in one aspect of your life, it’s easier to transfer that resilience to other aspects.
I Felt like I Gained Weight..?
I know you came here to hear me talk about my body. Now you’re going to get it.
Visibly, there’s not much change to my physical form. There are even days when I swear I put on weight. It’s a little bit confusing but I’m learning to just trust my body and let it do its thing. And in full honesty, I couldn’t tell you what I’ve been eating for the past month. Food has been the last thing on my mind amidst some of my life changes. I may have eaten more calories here and there.
I’m giving my body the opportunity to adjust— and I’m just so grateful for the feeling of happiness, strength and calmness, that the fact that my body didn’t change as fast as I hoped it would doens’t bring me too much angst.
The key here is if I really wanted to change my physique, I was going to have to be super intentional about it. The WHY is important, because without it you have no clear direction or plan. I didn’t have a plan with my nutrition or fitness. I just knew I wanted a greater challenge and more consistency.
I poured my WHY in other areas of my life, which in return has brought me a lot of joy. Tracking and prepping all my meals, and increasing my weights during my usual training routine: these things take energy. This month my energy was conserved for my brain. I’ve finished two books, written articles that I’m actually super proud of, gotten out of an unhealthy situation at work, and gone to therapy consistently. Allocating my energy in this way was a choice, and I don’t regret it at all.
The outcome was I didn’t lose any weight or become incredibly ‘stronger’, but mentally I feel like I’ve come a long way since the beginning of April.
I write this because I want to be authentic with you, and share that you can find glimmers of hope even in your own imperfections. When you look at your life from an action and consequence lens, things start to make a lot more sense. And it’s the actions you take on or don’t take on a daily basis, that add up to the results you have now.
What are you willing to change?
Secret Prose 
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