How Work Guilt May be Impacting You Adversely

I remember sitting on the hotel bed in one of the beautiful Spanish cities, hands on my head admitting to my travel companion that I was rattled by this feeling of guilt. It was an internal battle between wanting to be a good friend and companion, and a good worker that delivered as much as possible. I realized at that moment I couldn’t do both in that scenario, and I had to come to terms with the fact that the tension I was experiencing was at no one’s fault but my own. I had created my own mental dilemma.

Work gives the majority of us a purpose, or a reason to get out of bed every day. Some of us, if lucky, actually enjoy the work we do. Work in this context means an activity that requires us to apply ourselves physically or mentally, which usually comes with some form of severance.

When we’re passionate about something, or if we want to get to a higher position, we end up spending a lot of our time and energy on our work. Instead of it taking up a third of our day, we might push it closer to two-thirds.

Although entrepreneurs are notorious for working 16 hour days, anyone with a high volume career or is very earnest about their work can end up hitting these hours too. This might gradually turn into a recurring habit, even something that people hold pride in.

Unfortunately, what many end up suffering from, is a case of work guilt. When things arise in life that throw them off their regular “routine”, they begin to feel guilty. We wire ourselves to be productive, but going to the extreme can also have repercussions.

Asides from our own mental health, a major implication is our lack of presence with the people important to us. We begin to become more withdrawn, unable to fully enjoy the present moment because we’re agitated over the work that’s unfinished.

If you also suffer from work guilt, here are some of the strategies to overcome it. There are more ways to capture meaning from life than just from work itself.

Set Up Realistic Expectations

We always want to aim high and higher. We set the targets high, sometimes just so even if we don’t hit them, we fall back on an acceptable level (for example, aim for 100%, but if we end up with 95% it’s not the end of the world).

Having goals is important to help us track our progress, but it’s crucial that we keep them realistic. Taking all our priorities into account (health, family, personal development..etc) we need to set up realistic timeframes and the amount of time we can dedicate towards our work. 

If we end up subtracting from the other areas of our lives, we’re going to set ourselves up for burnout later on. The key is to work at a sustainable pace. It might take a little longer to achieve our goals, but at least in the meantime we still are able to find fulfillment in our lives. You work yourself to the bone every day, and you’ll start to resent it.

By setting up realistic expectations, you’re increasing the chances of hitting them, thus increasing your level of confidence each time. If you’re constantly failing to meet your own expectations, it will become a cycle of disappointment and a negative reflection of your own self-image, and you don’t want this to become a recurring habit.

Establish Your Own Work Boundaries

Try to carve out specific intervals of time where you’re not actively working. And let the people you work with know so they have no expectations from you during that time. Taking breaks away from work, allows you to reset, refuel, and reflect.

Make this a regular habit, so when the time arises and you’re perhaps reading a book on the patio, or catching up with friends, you don’t feel the urge to check emails or answer messages. You have intentionally scoped that time out to enjoy your life. Whatever it is, it can wait for an hour or two.

This also allows you to be more productive during the windows that are focused on work because you know you’ll have to “shut down” from a certain time.

Incorporate Different Fulfilling Activities on a Regular Basis

When we get wrapped up in work routines, it seems like our life’s itinerary is: wake up, get ready for work, go to work, come home, sleep and repeat. How boring does that sound? Unfortunately, this is how the majority of us live.

We need to take some effort to rediscover some of the things that we enjoy doing. Whether that be cooking, playing tennis, catching up over coffee with friends, or hiking — it keeps your life exciting and fresh. The more invigorated you are from your life, the more energy you have to pour back into your work. And vice versa, the more you enjoy your work, the more energy you have to give back to the other areas in your life.

When we prioritize giving our life meaning and fulfillment, we start to see that it can be derived from so many things other than just work. Working hard to achieve your goals can definitely be rewarding and help us have more financial freedom. But when our life’s purpose becomes solely about performing the physical work, we’re literally depriving ourselves of what makes us feel whole. Genuine connections, personal growth, health, learning, and exploring new hobbies and passions in-depth.

Conclusion

There are a lot of moments in life where I wish I could have gone back and put my phone or laptop away. I don’t want to miss any more moments, because you only have so much time to spend on this earth and with the people you love. I found that in many of those moments, I wasn’t able to focus on the work at hand anyways; a part of me was distracted. This is why I recommend doing work when you set out to; not in the middle of a happy hour sesh.

The more you’re able to be honest with yourself about your own expectations, boundaries, and the things that truly fulfill you, the closer you will be to ditching the work guilt.