6 Ways to Live Your Rich Girl Life

Deprivation can lead to one of two things:

Depravedness or hunger.

For most of the 25 years of my existence, I lived on the brink of ‘just enough’. Thank god, I had parents who loved me and provided a stable home. Although we didn’t have fancy vacations in Hawaii, and I didn’t have the newest Nintendo, we had just enough to feel comfortable. Plus, having Asian parents means that even if there were financial hardships, you would never see beyond the cloak of secrecy.

One of the perks of being raised in a relatively stable and urban environment is that your standards begin to evolve with time. I remember the first job I ever had was at a retail store sporting Californian-inspired fashion for young adults. Every month or so, the store would flip to bring in the new seasonal collection. When I came into work one afternoon, I saw a mannequin at the front of the store wearing this beautiful denim romper with spaghetti straps and white flowers embroidered near the bust. Immediately, I wanted it, imagining how cute and girly I would look in this romper. I flipped over the price tag and saw the digits: $50.00. Even with my employee discount, I couldn’t afford it on my part-time, minimum-wage salary. This would mean I would have to save weeks for it. This is just one of my first vivid memories of yearning for something that could only be uncovered with income in my pocket.

Back then, I had to go to the magazine section in the store and flip through the pages of Teen Vogue to see what the latest trends were (though back then I wasn’t as interested in fashion as some juicy celebrity gossip). Or, I had to a physical store to see beautiful things to want them. Now I have access to tens, hundreds of stores at a simple swipe. Not only so, I don’t get to choose what I want to see most of the time. Ads and sponsored posts populate our feed probably more so than you see pictures of your closest friends. My desires went from that $50 romper I couldn’t afford to beautiful landscapes halfway across the world and couture outfits with matching Chanel flaps and pasty white aesthetics.

There is nothing wrong with desire. In fact, the day I walked into the store and bought myself that denim romper, I was elated. I probably wore that thing way too many times, until the straps loosened and started falling down my shoulders. When you work incredibly hard for something you want, there is a sweet satisfaction in finally signing the papers, or hearing the card machine light up with “Approved.” It’s because a past version of you, couldn’t have it due to financial constraints, and now you’ve moved yourself up in a way where you can. Going from can’t to can is a powerful feeling, and it’s what keeps us wanting and striving for more.

But as you may have probably experienced, the elatedness we feel from obtaining a goal or something material tends to dissipate fairly quickly. There needs to be more meat in the equation or else soon we find ourselves on a somewhat meaningless path of pursuing material things to make us temporarily happy. We shift meaning from purpose to stuff. And let’s be honest, do your happiest memories involve stuff? Or does it involve people and experiences?

For me, it’s always been the latter. In fact, happiness doesn’t have to occur in the ‘larger’ moments. Happiness or contentment, as I prefer to call it can come from the satisfaction of one’s decisions. 

• Discipline can create contentment.
• Creating the life you’ve always envisioned for yourself can create contentment. 
• Helping others as a job can create contentment. 

You see, fleeting moments of happiness can occur after a large purchase, but real richness comes from something deeper. And that feeling is sometimes not as tangible as an amount in your bank account.

In this blog post, I share my top six ways to live your “rich girl” life.

1. Establish Your Rich Girl Vision

You need something to look forward to (period). Life is imperfect and tough and doesn’t always present the most comfortable or ideal conditions for us to be happy. If you find yourself in a less-than-ideal situation, sometimes the fire in your belly to get out is through crafting a compelling vision for yourself. Again, rich doesn’t have to necessarily mean wealthy. I’m not imagining myself dripping head to toe in jewels and foreign furs flying private (although wouldn’t that be nice 😉  Simply, rich for some can mean freedom. 

• Freedom to do the things one desires without worrying about costs. 
• Freedom to fly business class from time to time.
• Freedom to stay at a higher-end hotel. 
• Freedom to put their kids through private school. 
• Freedom to eat healthy and fresh foods.

 I can think of so many things. Freedom is wonderful but it ain’t free.

Now I want you to ingrain your vision somewhere. You know how they say in school you retain concepts better by taking notes while the lecturer is talking? Well, I want you to “retain” your vision too. You can do this in two ways.

1. Traditional: Canvas + Magazine

Grab a couple of old magazines and cut out images and words that embody your vision. Paste them on some sort of canvas. Unlike me, if you’re kind of artsy this can become a beautiful art piece to go in your room or living space.

Tip: Invite a friend, open a bottle of wine (or tea), light some candles, and make it a girl’s night!

2. Modern: Canva + Pinterest

This is my preferred mode of vision boarding because I like how I can update and modify my vision board as I grow. Some things, particularly certain vacations or material things you might not actually want after a certain time. You may go through a brief phase of wanting that thing after seeing way too many ads but you realize down your growth journey that you don’t desire that thing as much as you thought. Like a brief potato chip craving that passes after you’ve had a nice meal and some water.

I go on Pinterest and search for relevant ideas that align with my vision. I type (vision word) + (aesthetic). And boom, you’ll get a whole library of content to download and use for your digital vision board. I just keep this on Canva, but you could always download it and make it your screen saver- I know lots of people who do this.

Now I want to get a bit personal and share my rich girl vision- below is a screenshot of my vision board this year.

In words, here are some key themes I focus on:

1. Health and Fitness

• The ability to engage in a variety of fitness activities and classes that interest me and keep me healthy and strong (ie. yoga, pilates, spin, barre, private gym).
• The ability to afford nutritious and organic foods 
• The ability to take time off to recover and heal properly from illness.
• The ability to choose my sleep and wake-up hours.

2. Home and Living

• A home that feels like a home
• Freedom to move around without having to travel out of a suitcase.
• The feeling of stability.
• Freedom to decorate and furnish with quality and aesthetics in mind.
• Living in an urban area with lots of things to do and eat.
• Being close to nature (ideal near the beach).

3.  Work & Career

• Engage in work I feel excited about, not just to pay the bills.
• Demand high value on the marketplace.
• Having the ability to take time off when needed.
• Have the ability to work wherever I want.
• Being able to leave an environment that’s no longer conducive to my professional development without worry.

4. Luxuries (“fun”)

• Travel around the world.
• Building a high-end capsule wardrobe (no Shein zone).
• Owning a Porsche 
• Owning a classic timepiece accessory (ie. watches)

5. Giving back

• Buy my family and closest friends luxurious gifts.
• Donating money or time to a community cause focused on women and children.

Those are some of the things on my long-term vision board. I have found that the things I’ve least expected to happen quickly have happened. So don’t cut yourself short 🙂 This stuff works. If you want to learn more about how you can effectively make your vision come true, don’t miss out on this useful post, Why I Don’t Believe in Manifestation.

2. Don’t Expect Immediate Returns

If you always expect an immediate return, you’ll find yourself constantly disappointed. Most worthwhile pursuits don’t yield immediate returns. That is a law I didn’t make. Although we all have grand goals and visions, we have to tame our inner expectations for things to happen right away. We need to learn how to accept the uncomfortable spot of being between where you are and where you want to be. Nothing happens overnight, in fact, most ‘overnight’ successes took years of trial and failure. If you’re only doing something because you believe it will grant you some type of outcome, it will be hard to follow through. Women, more so than men, tend to be driven by passion and emotion. If we’re truly invested in something emotionally, we can sometimes forgo the financial returns. Men I find, solely focus on a desired outcome and reverse engineer their way to that outcome, and are okay with putting up with temporary discomfort to get there. 

That’s why my advice for my ladies: Find something you wouldn’t mind doing for at least 10 years. It’s not the type of vocation you need to drag yourself through just to tick off a box. It’s something you genuinely find interest in, want to grow in, and want to excel at professionally. I used to think that passion was a whole load of bullshit, but the more I’ve progressed in my career, the more I believe that if you’re not innately passionate about something, it’s going to be hard to play the long game. It’s going to be difficult to stick through periods even when you’re not good at something, to stay long enough to get good. Don’t know what you’re passionate about? Check out these 4 signs.

This sounds stupid, but I am quite passionate about fashion- though I don’t show it because I don’t make enough money to splurge on high-end fashion all the time. But it’s something I am willing to wait for because I know with hard work and the growth of my career, eventually, I will be able to afford the beautiful pieces I see on my vision board. Like that blue romper I yearned for at the beginning of my story, I obviously desire pieces that are a tad more expensive than a whopping 5-0. But I am willing to delay my gratification for it.

Another more career-related thing is my writing career. I got a good head start in that, but obviously, I am nowhere where I want to be in terms of talent and expertise. But unlike before, I’m not pining to be an NYT journalist at 25 years old. I know I have years to hone my craft, and as I progress I’ll be able to demand more for my value in the marketplace, and eventually make a sustainable living from my skills. 

All I can say is, pour your heart and efforts into the things you’re serious about, even if it doesn’t reward you right away. Eventually, these seeds you’ve planted will start to reward you with beautiful plants, even if they’re growing in obscure and unexpected directions.

3. Stop Being a Copycat

When you try to replicate someone else’s success, the only person you end up betraying is yourself. We all have in our minds an idea of what we must do to be successful. We look to others and their personal ambitions as a roadmap. For example, want to make money?

Be X, Y, or Z. When I was younger, these were occupations like doctors, lawyers, and investment bankers. Careers that dealt with physical matter or people. However, within the next decade the trending “high-paying careers” shifted to software engineering and AI. If you constantly chase where the money supposedly is based on what you hear in the news, you’ll find your foot halfway in lots of careers.

Every single day I am bombarded on social media with influencers trying to sell me a certain type of lifestyle. Just sell a course or create content for brands and you’ll earn $10k-20k a month. It all sounds fine and dandy of course, but I realized pretty quickly that social media was NOT one of my inherent strengths. I also knew SM was something that could be easily outsourced if you wanted to grow quickly, However, building and managing a community is a different story.

More importantly, I never saw social media as something stable, and worthwhile to build a career off of. I know it’s worked for many people, but I have a feeling for every person it’s worked for, perhaps thousands of people have failed. It’s like that for every niche/difficult career, but you need to know where to place your bets when you don’t have unlimited resources or capacity.

I place my bets on areas where I see the most consistent return.

• Where am I sought out the most? 
• What tasks come naturally/easily to me where it takes others longer/harder? 
• Which areas have I had a history of being paid the most?
• What do I enjoy doing and don’t mind obsessing over the results?

Many people negate personal enjoyment from success, but I actually think it’s critical. If you don’t crave doing that thing you’re doing, the likelihood of you making a career out of it, or making money is low. 

Bottom line: Stop trying to copy someone else’s success, and build a roadmap for yourself. Success doesn’t have to equate to making a certain annual income; it could mean something completely different to you. Even if you managed to build a career out of something you don’t truly love, and you’re making good money, a part of your soul will always feel the betrayal of your true values. This value is something only YOU can figure out after some substantial introspection and experience.  

4. Choose a Partner, not a Boyfriend.

The term “boy-friend” always struck me as kind of funny. Boyfriend has a romantic affiliation but technically it means a “boy” (younger man or adolescent) + friend (a person of close affiliation). A boyfriend is someone you date at a given time, whereas a partner is someone you work/navigate life with. Partner implies more stability and unison. There are plenty of men who can and will be boyfriends, but only one will be a life partner. Make sure you choose wisely when the time is right. Finding a life partner isn’t easy, especially if you’re someone who’s extremely ambitious. It’ll always be difficult to find someone who meets your standards and expectations. Finding a partner is NOT just finding someone who seemingly “checks off all your boxes.” I know, confusing right? Because trust me, I’ve been there and tried to love someone who seemingly checked the boxes. But it was not until I allowed myself to navigate out of that box, did I discover, there was so much more ground left to uncover. Your expectations shift relative to experience. If you have to convince yourself to stay because you fear you won’t find something better, that is the number one reason why you should leave. Never operate from a place of fear. 

I choose to be with the person I’m with not because I’m head over heels in love, all the time. I don’t choose a partner based on infatuation, instead, I look at the facts. The person I’m with is fearlessly loyal and committed to whatever he is pursuing. He is committed to building an elevated future for us, one that meets our desires and expectations. He is interested in planning for a future; this is what guides him in his every day, even when not every day is a bright one. I choose the person I’m with because of how he chooses me, always.

So, yes though our lives may appear mundane, filled mostly with work, and recovering from work— it is the fact that we’re there for each other through the steepest lows, and on days, where we have to pinch ourselves to believe what’s happening in front of our eyes.

Most of my life I wanted a boyfriend, not a partner. I was scared of commitment, and I would be lying if I said I was completely fine with the idea of life commitment. But with most great things that happen to us, it took a bit of courage and stepping into the unknown even with fear brewing in our bellies. In fact, as I’m about to make one of the biggest transitions of my life, I feel the anxiety loud and clear. But I have to remind myself that feeling fear for the unknown is normal, and once you make it to the other side you’ll understand that a second of courage can literally change the trajectory of your life. I took a leap of faith with my current partner, and the journey itself has been more than rewarding, and filled with more possibility than I’d ever imagined.

Check out my last post, Is it Anti-Feminist to Want to Marry Rich?

5. Live Below Your Means

Being rich and living below your means feels a bit contradictory, no? As we start going from zero to making a bit more money, it’s tempting to fall into the allure of the ‘rich people’ aesthetic’. It starts with the Apple products, then a luxury bag or two, and jewelry,  We work hard and we want to reward ourselves for getting to the next level. To be honest with you, I am one of those people. I grind my ass off for my money, and once I’ve fulfilled my savings goals, I take the additional and splurge on something that truly is meaningful to me. Whether that’s a trip, designer shades, or a piece of technology. I won’t try to justify my spending choices, because of course to some, my purchases may seem frivolous and unnecessary. But what can I say, I just like nice things.

But nice things don’t pop out of nowhere, or come from ‘invisible money’, aka my credit card. Nice things are earned after a period of time. Time and effort are what allow me to accumulate more wealth.

I truly believe in living below your means whether you make $20k, or $100k. I was shocked to hear how many individuals were making over six digits a year, and living paycheck to paycheck. Perhaps, many of these people came from a place of scarcity, and after a long period of hard work and determination, they’ve finally been able to defy the odds and crack the $100k mark. Now, they’re buying things they’ve always dreamed of owning— the schmoozy car, the 2-bedroom city apartment, vacations in Mykonos, and watches. But remember, most of these things are bought on borrowed money, which means high monthly payments. There’s no purpose in making $100k a year if you spend your time just trying to cover your ass. 

I make well under 100k a year, and I save more than 30% of my income. I bring lunch to work every day (when I can) and don’t have a $10 Starbucks habit. I seldom eat out, shop, or party. The number I allocate to my investments and savings is so automatic, that even the thought of infringing on it to pay for something else is preposperous to me. I am by no means a saint when it comes to spending money, but I’d say I’m living quite comfortably on the little money I make. And I can only hope I preserve these habits as I start to make more.

I can stay disciplined financially because I know what lies at the end of these habits. Things I truly desire like spontaneous trips to Europe, luxurious gifts for friends, and beautiful home decor and technology. Eventually, I want a beautiful Datejust Rolex and a Porsche, just for fun. I don’t see money as something you have to cage up and never use. Money can act as an accountability tool, and if you’re smart with it in the short term, you can definitely afford to splurge on some luxuries in the near future. You just need to understand what are the things/experiences you truly want, and what you can live without.

6. Step into Your Manifestation

The last and final step is critical. Now that you’ve done all the hard work to manifest the life of your dreams— it’s time to move over from manifesting to realizing. Step into your new reality sweetheart, because this is it. Sometimes we can become so laser-focused on getting a specific outcome that we forget how to enjoy it when we arrive. When we closed on our first home, I was excited—then immediately ridden with anxiety. 

• Were we making the right decision? 
• Would I miss the convenient downtown lifestyle? 
• Would I shrivel away in a quiet neighborhood on the west side?

It’s ironic how hard we pray for something, only to turn it upside down and on its tail when we finally have it. Sometimes, we may feel like an imposter and unworthy of receiving whatever goal we’ve accomplished or have. I certainly did not expect to move into this home I rent right now, nevertheless, a ~$1 million townhome.

It’s hard to curb those anxious thoughts, but you also have to find it in yourself to slow down and sit with your manifestation. And I promise this is the most voodoo I’m ever going to get. 

For me, when I moved downtown, it was taking long strolls by the water and watching the sun go down. It was sitting on my balcony patio and enjoying the beautiful cityscape of Downtown, Vancouver.

As I prepare to move into my new home, I’m spending $$$ on furnishing it to the best of my expectations. This is no longer borrowed property baby, it’s time to glam it up. Finding something exciting to focus on within your manifestation or having a plan, makes it more real. Otherwise, you’re floating about like you’re in an out-of-body experience.

As much as we fall in love with our manifestations, we also have to permit ourselves to live and let go. I thought I always wanted to live in Olympic Village, which is a small neighborhood located along the water, and a 10-minute drive from the downtown core. But as I spent the past 1.5 years working in this precise area, I have realized just how much I rather not live here. 

Your dreams can change and evolve, and sometimes life can surprise you. I walked into a Jimmy Choo outlet over Christmas break thinking I was going to come out with a pair of hot pink stilettos, but instead, came out with gorgeous, black pointed booties. Sometimes what we perceive in our mind to be our dream, can disappoint us in real life.

That’s why I recommend taking it out for a test run. You wouldn’t buy a house from a listing online, there’s a reason open houses exist. And we all know sometimes the clothing we want to buy online, doesn’t work out at all. 

I slid into the downtown lifestyle smoothly because I had slowly integrated myself into it prior to moving in. I woke up early and transited to attend barre or spin classes downtown before school on the other side of the city. I frequented restaurants and cafes in Yaletown and Gastown and ran through the same route across the Seawall as I do today. My body and mind just knew the crooks and crannies of this part of the city, so integrating into life here was easy peasy. If you want to manifest a yacht, let’s say, go attend a yacht show. If you want a certain type of car, go rent and drive it for a day. If you want to live in a certain neighborhood, make an effort to drive through or take walks through it every so often. Feel it in your body and soul what it would feel like. And soon, one day, I promise you, it can become your reality every single day.

I’m only 25 years old, and some of the craziest things on my vision board that I haven’t foreseen happening have happened. But I can tell you one thing that I’ve learned. As hard as you pray for a certain type of outcome, you’ll never feel the same way about something as the first time you’ve obtained it, and the time you have to let it go/ give it up. Everything in between you got to try really hard to stay grateful. Regardless of what you have, life will continue to throw curveballs, and we often forget that the life we have now is one that we dreamed about back then. We start to take certain things for granted as more urgent ‘problems’ plague our day to day. We’re always looking for the ‘next best’ thing, so whatever we’ve accomplished past, becomes somewhat of a trophy gathering dust on the shelves of our mind.

If you can find a way not only to work hard and believe in your manifestations, but also find it in your heart to be grateful, then my friend, you have the greatest superpower in the world. Many people achieve the first part, but not the latter. When they say money doesn’t buy happiness, it’s true to an extent. Money can buy happiness if you’ve worked hard to earn it, and you find a way to stay grateful under whatever outcomes that life delivers.

Having the gift of gratitude plus, grit and determination equals a happier and more contentful life than what most people have on average.

And with that, I only hope you manifest your version of a “rich girl life.” I certainly have found pleasure in learning all the different ways I can live out my rich girl dreams. 

Love,