Losing Interest in Writing? My Mini Vacay from Blogging, Quarter Life Crises..and more.

Hello world. This has been the longest time since I’ve gone without posting. And I have a solid reason why.

I’m taking a break. Essentially, last Friday I could not get out of bed—– and not in the regular, I can’t get out of bed on a weekday type of way. But like, I literally spent half the day in bed either sleeping, panicking, or crying. This was a wake-up call, that something needed to change. I’m currently in a season of my life where I both feel like I’m going somewhere yet nowhere at the same time. I seem to have hopscotched my way up the career chain, and some might call this imposter syndrome. But as I’ve put down the breaks on some other areas of my life (journalism, English tutoring, blogging, content creating), it has given me ample time to reflect on what drives me, and what I really need at the core. There is liberty in making your own decisions but also fear because of the possibility of failure. At least if you went under someone else’s thumb, you could blame failure partly so on them.

But don’t worry, I’ve been slowly putting words to an idea that’s been tempering in my brain recently. Just learning more about this topic, writing it down, and processing it feels like I’m slowly lifting the weight it’s had on my heart for so long. It’s an invisible weight I call it, because it’s something I never really processed until recently. Although I always strove to be truthful and intentional with my content, to be honest, a lot of it’s written on a whim. I’m taking a bit more time, but hopefully coming back with something a little more substantial and meaty. Genuinely, I wish that was all but the reality is, I truly needed a small break from everything. My life felt like it was on constant replay, and I never really looked forward to getting home to yet another inbox. In a recent story I posted on Instagram, I talked about my longing for down time. Coming home with the sun still shining bright, going for hour jogs, swimming in the pool, actually (gasp) finishing a book I started. These are delicious tidbits of my life that I sometimes forget to honour. When life goes so fast, we forget to slow down and find the things that make life worthwhile.

And although I’m not the ‘happiest’ person, I realize that the only person in charge of my happiness is me. If I chose to implement unrealistic routines, deadlines, goals, or workloads- that-is-completely-on-me. But the reverse is true also. I can choose to take myself on long solo walks to the beach on the weekend. I can choose to cut back now, and prepare for another season. I can reach out to friends and family. I can choose to cook at home and use food as a way to connect, and to give love. I can choose to pick up a memoir rather than mindlessly watching a show.

Everything is a choice, and I have the luxury of making decisions. I might as well honour that.

Fret not, if I’m typing this- you know I’ll be back. And you never know who I might come back as.