Understanding. This one simple word can change everything. The difference between how men and women think, often affects how they perceive one another.
Improper communication can lead to a lot of discrepancies, stereotyping, and distance between the two genders. Women often assume the worst of men when they’re insecure. Some women might automatically relate men to their archeological ancestors— preying, impulsive, and dangerous. Similar to how women have no idea what guys talk about at the bar, guys tend to take any opportunity to back out of intimate conversations between women. To them, it’s like ringing in their ears.
Men that lack serious relationship experience are more likely to siphon women into some sort of archaic category. Such things include how women desire to ‘marry rich’, ‘do nothing’, or spend their whole lives waiting for a man to come to rescue them. I want to make note that these socializations take hundreds and thousands of years to evolve, change, and break. When I turn on social media, I still see these same stereotypes being perpetuated surprisingly not by men, but by women themselves. When you’ve been socialized to think one way since you were a toddler, how difficult do you think it is to change that way of structural thinking?
Unfortunately, we still live in a world where the majority of money and power is concentrated in the hands of men. Even the natural tendency for women with high-status husbands to engage in charitable responsibilities is a default stereotype that only women who marry rich or come from money have those capabilities.
Needless to say, I thought it would be the responsible thing to do in breaking down some of the misconceptions from a woman’s perspective, in this day and age, and be as honest as I can. Please mind that my opinion does not reflect the opinions and viewpoints of all women.
The more money you make, the more attractive you become
Women are not necessarily attracted to how large your bank account is; what they’re attracted to is drive.
You see, there seems to be a linear relationship between ambition and wealth. The more drive you have, the more money you tend to make in the long run. Men, specifically, are more drawn towards high-paying career paths as a way to exercise their ambition.
Women who’ve been long been constrained to the feminine stereotype of being ‘caregivers’, sometimes just want to feel like they’re taken care of. What they don’t want is to ‘mom’ their partners. They seek partners who in plain words, ‘have their shit together.’ Can clean their own houses, do their laundry, cook a meal, take care of themselves..etc. The wealthier you are, the easier some of those self-care rituals become, and hell, it doesn’t suck to get a nicer shirt.
More women these days graduate from universities and pursue higher degrees than men. They are more equipped than ever to take control of their finances and build careers. It makes sense that they want a partner that can also do the same, or someone that encourages them to aim even higher. This is the case for most educated women living in a first-world country.
For women that aren’t educated, come from abusive families, or were never raised with the mentality they could achieve, it makes sense that they would aspire to find a mate that could provide these things or make up for the financial discrepancy. A lot of this boils down to security. Money provides a baseline for psychological safety. Whether we make that money ourselves or we depend on someone, in the end, money is money.
Bottom line: Educated women from first-world countries are less likely to be attracted to the financial status of a man, and more attracted to ambition. Women that have not been fortunate to afford an education or/and come from broken family systems or/and poverty, are more likely to be attracted to men solely based on their financial status.
She doesn’t really “care about sex”
It’s 2023 guys, we can talk about sex, women, and desire in the same sentence. We often think men are rabid sex creatures, whereas women are fine just laying there and getting it over with.
The truth is your libido depends on a few things:
Health, stress levels, whether you’re on medication or not, diet..etc.
Regardless of whether you’re 18 years old or 30 years old, women and men both can have varying sex drives—from moderate to high. Sexual discussion is finally peeping into the mainstream—and no, not that Cosmopolitan bullshit you used to see in the cashier aisle, about “100 ways to wow him in bed.” But platforms like Goop, for example, have managed to televise and sell products surrounding women and sexual pleasure.
So yes, women do care about sex. Finding all the different ways to sexually please a woman can become a fun, intimate, and experimental process.
We dress up and take care of ourselves for men
Okay, this one can be partially true. Let’s say you’re going on a date or to a party, part of you will want to dress to impress. But on a day-to-day basis, women genuinely like to take care of themselves and dress, for themselves.
They feel more confident or empowered, appearing a certain way. For men, you can think of it as taking a shower and doing a clean shave. Are you doing this to attract a potential mate? Likely not, you probably do it because it makes you feel better and more ready to tackle the day afterward.
We want to spend all our spare time with you
Women have always been perceived as needy or emotional. So much so, that women tend to label themselves as needy or emotional, memes and all. Here is the truth. A woman that loves her own company genuinely likes spending time all 👏by: 👏herself 👏. They don’t desire to wait for you like a sad puppy after work so she can heat up your dinner.
In her spare time, is where a women’s power resides. She may be killing it at work, but she’s also killing it outside of work. Whether that’s hitting PRs at the gym, catching up on a book/podcast, studying a new skill, developing a business, or meeting up with her friends (because she has a vibrant social life, duh).
Don’t think for a second a woman’s life revolves around you.
A man in a woman’s life is a trusty partner, companion, and collaborator. You enrich her life, complement her personality and skills, and add another layer to the existing complexity that is a women’s life and relationship with herself.
Conclusion
As a woman living in 2023, it may appear from the outside we got the upper hand, but the truth is we don’t. Not nearly. There’s still much work to be done in this space, and so much work we need to do as women with ourselves to come to a place of peace, rather than resentment toward the other gender. I truly believe to negate all the animosity between men and women, it all begins with understanding and unraveling the stereotypes we have of one another. Good men exist, and good women exist, period. But sometimes, it takes work to find the good in all of us.
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