With the new year upon us, it’s tempting to fall into the trap of comparing our lives to the lives we see on social media. Not everyone had as much of a fabulous year, and that’s okay. Can you focus on a few core areas this year, instead of a multitude of “to dos”? I list 10 things to think about as we roll into January and I hope this helps you in your reflection process.
#1 Seek Inner Peace
You can achieve as many external goals and wants as possible; but if you fail to find peace within yourself— you will always find something to complain about, someone to complain about, leaving behind a toxic tar.
Inner peace is one of the hardest, yet most worthwhile endeavors you can achieve.
- Identify what makes you restless
- Seek to alter your expectations when you can
- Get other perspectives on your expectations
- Never stop discovering new things to love
#2: Efficiency Over Hyperproductivity
We think that busy minds lead to busy lives and more success. The truth is, we’re only able to reach peak productivity a handful of hours a day. Let’s normalise this instead of thinking we always have to do more to achieve more. The truth is more is never enough.
- Time block a few hours a day for your MIPs (most important priorities)
- Make time for physical activity
- Practice self-care rituals
- Make time for intellectual development
- Delegate where you can and can afford to
#3. Love Time Alone
Being with ourselves is hard. The most common distractions we seek are romantic affiliations, friendships, and work. Some signs you can’t handle being alone is
- You get anxious on Friday nights when you’re alone
- You get anxious when your partner is not around
- You worry your friends will think negatively of you
- You focus all your energy on work and staying busy
- You avoid addressing any form of mental health issues
Seek to become your own best friend. There is a special kind of peace to be achieved through solitude.
#4 Focus on your path
It’s easy to compare our paths to others, even though our paths are diverging at different times. Use your own journey and results as a benchmark of what you can accomplish next.
- Map out your own desires
- Take social media breaks when needed
- Set realistic expectations
- Be kinder to yourself
- Understand the effect that budding adult responsibilities have on your capacity
#5. Give and Receive
Many of us resort to endless giving, yet we don’t feel deserving of receiving. Let the natural laws work in your favor, and don’t pit self-fulfilling prophecies against yourself. If you can’t wholeheartedly accept gifts from others, in a way, it’s diminishing (not only your joy) but the other’s joy from giving. If you receive something extraordinary, aim to pay it forward in the future.
- Practice saying aloud what you want to receive
- Write down the things you would like to receive (this can be material or non-material things)
- Practice feeling gratitude for every small thing you receive
- Give more often, within your own means
- Reserve time and energy for those that most deserve it in your life
#6. Live Slowly
Living slowly seems dichotomous to the fast-paced world we lived in. When we move too fast, we miss out on the small joys in life. Observing the seasons change because we lock ourselves indoors six months of the year, missing small moments of kindness from strangers because we have our earbuds plugged into us like we’re the device. When we learn to slow down, we can make better decisions for ourselves, feel more replenished from everyday events, and absorb a few notches more from each minute, hour, and day even when the circumstances don’t change.
- Unplug from time to time and listen to the street, mindless chatter of others, and other sensory motions.
- Make an effort to smile at others
- Eat without the TV on
- Be with others without your device
- Give yourself small indulgences (a pastry from your favorite cafe, a bunch of flowers from the local supermarket, a bubble bath..etc)
- Give yourself permission to slow down
#7. Nourish your Mind
When we get busy and into a routine, the first thing we may let go of is our health. Then, goes our mind. The brain stimulation we get from working or interacting with others is not the same type of simulation we get from learning about a subject deeply on our own. When we carve out time to study — we feed the brain. Our brains need this type of healthy stimulation and neuron building to stay strong into our later years.
#8. Forgive the Past
There are many parts of our past we don’t want to let go of because it feels safer to feel angry than to be sad. There’s a state of remorse that comes with letting go of old grudges, but the aftermath is more peace.
- Feeling even 1% less bad than you initially felt about the past means you’re evolving as a person
- Believe that the good will outweigh the bad in your lifetime
- Focus on the present and the things you have
- Remember you are not your past
- Our feelings of good and bad are relative to what we’ve experienced thus far
#9. Judge Less
The truth is we turn to judgment as a way to lessen our own pain. Let me give you an example. Maybe you own a flower arrangement store and one of your employees completely butchers the bouquet. It’s easier to momentarily get angry at them than it is to resolve the problem. We soothe our wounds with judgment, even when it doesn’t lead to a grander resolve.
- When you focus your energy on the good, rather than the bad, you’ll be met with less drama in life.
- Disassociate yourself who spend all their conversation time gossiping
- Seek to understand, before you judge.
- Remember that reactions and actions can happen out of context
#10. Progress over Perfection
Perfection is completely subjective. Your definition of perfect is different than someone else’s. You might think white roses for a wedding are ‘perfect’, while your best friend might think pink peonies are.
Stop focusing on making your life perfect, and rather focus on how you can keep growing. There’s way more satisfaction in growth than there is from meeting an ideal.
- How have you gotten better this year?
- In which aspect of your life have your efforts paid off?
- What are some areas you want to improve?
- How have you lived in more alignment with your values this year?
Secret Prose 
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