My Intention Word of the Year is…..

Every year, I like to use one word to describe what my intention or overall goal is for that year. This way, it makes the idea of setting goals and resolutions much less daunting.

I remember 2021 distinctively, if I could describe it as a feeling, it would be like a rollercoaster I never wanted to get off. Every twist and turn brought more excitement minus the nausea.

Pleasure. I drowned myself in it when I could—giving away to inhibitions and my vices. Graduating was just on the horizon, Europe on its tail, and I loved every second.

My word for 2022 was “Elevate”, and although you could look at my life and say “Well, you really did elevate.” Your career elevated, your living situation elevated , your relationship..etc.

The truth is, 2022 was one of the lowest points I’ve endured in a long time. I’ve written posts I never published in fear it was too transparent, and partly from shame. I’ve for so long been associated with the character of the “nice”, “calm”, “contented”, “driven”, and “healthy” girl that even my therapist would describe me as “bubbly.”

This year felt long and raw as I look back. I’ve reached times where I’ve felt like there was nothing left in me to give. Burnout is an understatement.

On one of the first real vacations I’ve had in a year, I remember being so overcome with anxiety and sadness despite the fact that I was staying at one of the most luxurious suites they had at the hotel. I had lost myself so many times this year that I’ve lost count.

With the turn of the new year upon us, I finally feel like things are improving. I got started on medication for anti-anxiety/depression, my work life is improving immensely, and it feels like clouds in my mind are slowly dispersing. I am hopeful. 

My intention for the year is “Glow”. I’ll tell you why that’s the word I chose and some actionable insights on how to live by that intention.

Why Glow?

This year, you could say that all I cared about was work. Even in times, I was not productive, I was thinking about work. I adopted the typical WFH tech person persona and stopped caring about how I dressed, how nice my hair looked..etc. I stopped pampering myself, viewing it as an unnecessary expense. 

For a year I was really stranded on cash, living on basically freelancing and tutoring (which is very little to live on especially when you live in one of the most expensive areas).

Despite how hard I worked, I wasn’t a passionate person. Everything felt like a means to an end, even the startup I started.

I’ve been slowly reversing this and returning to the habits that make me feel like I’m taking good care of myself. This means getting a blowdryer (yes for a year I didn’t even bother), getting my nails done every month, and buying nicer skin cleansers and products.

When you take good care of your body in that way, for example, lathering yourself in a coconut coffee scrub concoction in the shower, it kind of puts you in a state of calmness.

“Yes, I love myself, therefore I’m going to spend time and money on myself.”

When you feel less grungy by appearing nicer, detoxing your space regularly, going to the gym, eating well..etc you naturally start to glow more from the inside out.

Before you go and call me superficial, let me be clear here. I’m not saying you HAVE to get your nails done or do your hair in order to feel more confident. It’s the action that counts—doing those things not only requires energy expenditure but a financial investment. You can surely invest in yourself in other ways—whether it’s time (giving yourself time to read, or do something you love), or finances (buying yourself a durable winter coat).

Personally, I’m the type of person that loved “getting ready”. I was the girl who would show up with heels and my hair done to school. Dressing well became a part of my identity. During Covid and post-Covid, I’ve felt like I had lost that part of myself. The part that made me feel good every day.

Let’s normalize taking good care of ourselves, for both men and women.

Glow – According to My Value Pillars

Health

A variety of factors have contributed to me being a lot less mindful about health. Moving downtown and working full-time are two of the big ones. I used to believe that people who said that they didn’t have time to work out or cook were just making excuses. Of course, you can squeeze in 1 hour a day. What I didn’t realize is that if you’re lucky to get an extra one hour in your work day, you want to be resting, not banging pots and pans.

In terms of health goals, I really have to aim for the path of least resistance. Walking 15 minutes to the gym on a snowy night seems treacherous, so I might have to resort to going to my apartment gym, even though it doesn’t have all the equipment I want. Typically, I just don’t go if I’m overwhelmed with work at night.

Nutrition:

It’s hard to cook every day, sometimes it’s even hard to cook once a week. Thankfully, we’re getting a crockpot for Christmas from my partner’s parents, so I’m intent on finding a crockpot cookbook online and just following that map to the Tee. That way, we won’t get bored. But again, it takes a mental commitment to click the Instacart button over Uber Eats sometimes (most of the time).

One thing I’ve been trying to incorporate every day is 100% Japanese stone ground matcha. Matcha is one of the highest antioxidant foods and just one serving a day offers the same health benefits as 10 cups of steeped Japanese green tea. It’s also been proven in studies to balance blood sugar and speed metabolism for weight loss and maintenance. Plus, it contains a special amino acid L-theanine which is known to have adaptogen properties (lower anxiety, increase focus).

I used to be much more religious over my nutrition—ie. What types of macros, vegetables..etc I was eating, but nowadays, I’m lucky to get in one serving of vegetables a day!

It’s tempting to jump on the green supplement train, but instead, I’m going to try to make one rule for myself. One serving of veg for every meal I have. That’s it, we all have to start somewhere to build back healthier habits.

Exercise:

I definitely think the gym is where I could make some improvements. I’ve been incredibly sheepish about going heavier on my sets, but I think I can slowly build up using 10lb increments on all my sets—especially with squats.

Stretching – Every time. This part isn’t so difficult because I find by the end of the day my body is so tense from working all day that it desperately craves a good cat stretch.

Cardio – Ugh. Could we bring back 15 minutes on the treadmill? Again, sheepish, but doable.

Truthfully, I love my body the way it is. I have no complaints nor desire to become a ripped bikini model. But I’m also proud of the incremental gains I have in terms of muscle definition. So if we could keep this up into 2023, I’ll be a happy girl.

Why health is important to me

Health and wellness as my highest pillar, has always been kind of a brainless decision. The truth is most of us don’t think about our health until it hurts and bleeds. Without good health, nothing else can be done. That’s the simple way I think about it.

The way we look from practicing healthy habits is merely a by-product, not the goal.

It took me a long, long time to resonate with this statement. Giving your body the best quality, cream of the crop ingredients, love, and attention is practicing self-love. We spend so much of our days giving to others through our work, our time, and our energy— practicing healthy habits is one way we can give that love back to ourselves.

Relationships

Could I be a better partner? Or a better friend? The answer is yes and yes all throughout those questions. The barrier to actually realizing it is work.

Simply, I tend to see (career) work above all else, even though I hold relationships to such high virtue.

Without someone to break bread with, to share laughter and warmth with, life loses a dose of glimmer.

I’ve always believed that human beings are lovely creatures—and every one of us has the ability to project something good into the world, as small as you might think. People underestimate the power one person can have on their intimate circles and their small communities. A person has the ability to move, shape and influence the direction of events and others.

Relationships have helped me progress in my career, develop on a personal level, learn things about the world I previously didn’t know, and led me to fascinating places.

As we got older, the dilemma occurs. Is the energy exchange worth it for this interaction? That is a question you must closely consider with yourself. Is this person someone you see a long-term relationship with? Don’t forget that your time is sacred; you can’t be giving it away like samples at Costco.

People can truly bring out the best in us—thus, the word ‘glow’.  When you feel the uttermost security to share your honest ideas, and you’re met with validation and thoughtful feedback; it can have an extremely powerful effect on your confidence levels. Validation doesn’t mean they agree with you all the time, but that they understand where you’re coming from, and they care.

That’s why they stress the importance of having an inner golden circle; a group of highly effective human beings that can influence and encourage you to live at your best throughout the years.

It’s easy to go weeks without asking any one of my friends to hang out. Instead of increasing the frequency of my interactions, I want to focus on quality. I’ve heard once on Jay Shetty podcast, that giving your friends 2 hours of intentional time is better than 8 hours of unintentional time. I really want to soak this in and practice it more often, as I find myself saying yes to things despite knowing I’m physically or mentally exhausted. Rest and then decide. And if you scheduled something far in advance, there’s nothing wrong with rescheduling for a time that’s convenient and energy positive for both of you. I also realized that I despise hanging out in groups. Anything beyond 3 people drives me nuts. I love one on one time, and I’m able to give far more energy and attention to that one person instead of dispersing that attention amongst a group of people.

Career

The chunkiest goals of them all. Given what I’ve said thus far, you probably assume I have a laundry list of goals for my career. The truth is, I did. In fact, my kitchen is still plastered with my master business plan and leftover residue of my scattered thoughts.

I also went through a phase where I wanted to pursue a career in journalism. So, why did I stop setting goals for my career?

I realized that having these constant expectations for myself was causing a lot of angst and straight-up depression when I didn’t meet them within the exact timeframe I set out. The whole “but at least you got further than you thought thing”, didn’t work for me. To me, not getting exactly what I set out for only felt like a prolonged pain, despite the lessons I’ve received from pursuing it.

When I let go of the endless list of career goals, and just went with the flow, things actually started to turn out better. Ironically, the things I put less effort into, in comparison to the things I put the most effort into ended up working out far better. Weird right?

This doesn’t mean I don’t work hard. I work incredibly hard on the opportunities that are in front of me.

Truth be told, I built a startup out of desperation—and it probably wasn’t the best way to go about it because I didn’t wake up in the morning desiring to do the things I had to do. My talents, I realize now, lie elsewhere in the equation and when I can live by doing the things I excel at, the more “glow” I receive from work.

Work becomes more than just work. It becomes purposeful, intentional, and focused when you feel aligned with both your strengths and your passions. I won’t name exactly what I’m doing now, but let’s just say I’ve reconnected with an old flame of mine (a hobby, not a person).

In terms of overarching career goals: I know I want to make an impact. Impact to me, meaning tangible results. Tangible results come in the form of increased business impact, presence, and helping our partners succeed to the best of my abilities. But at the same time, not taking every blip in the road so personally.

Leadership – leadership is f**ing hard. It’s hard to let go of control and trust others to do things per exactly your expectations. Part of the leader’s role, a lot of it, comes down to patience and commitment. Are you willing to invest energy and time to draw out the potential of others? Are you willing to take a step back at times and let others shine?

Fun – I want to have more fun with not only my life but with work. I’m lucky I work in a very creative domain, where I have a fair degree of autonomy to guide strategies and implement them. I also get to work a lot with branding and social media presence which I find to be very exciting. “Make work your playground” You can either go into work with a negative, “do-or-die” attitude, or you can find a way to exercise and flex your skills, build on them, and make it a jungle gym of your greatest career desires.

Purpose

For a long time, I believed purpose was opaque. You either did this and found purpose, or you had none. I always dreamed about having a career where I got to help others or empowered the world in a greater way—which is why I pursued politics. I thought if I got into politics or an international governance body, I would have more control over policies that impacted millions. That was the easiest way to “help” as many people as possible. 

The truth is, political impact is hard to measure and it’s extremely bureaucratic. Some would argue building a business provides more tangible measurements of how wide your impact is (you can track user rate, reviews, feedback, growth year on year..etc.)

I also realized like any goal— you don’t have to start from the finish line and work your way back. For most of my life, I had the finish line in mind and only thought about why I was currently in the spot I was. Was it because I didn’t work hard enough, or was I inferior to others pursuing the same thing, or was it a timing thing?

I’m intentionally trying to practice staying in line with my own journey these days. It’s hard not to fall for comparison, but in times when I feel the prevalent urge to compare, I remind myself that I’m only looking at one point in history. I can’t compare myself with another if I haven’t seen all the historical data leading up to that point.

Unfortunately, much of my sense of ‘purpose’ is attached to my work; and not so much on how to be a good human. I really lost track of the things that brought me joy and fulfillment this year, and I understand that accomplishment and validation are just one component of the larger purpose puzzle. There needs to be something bigger and more realistic—what if I lost my work someday due to some reason? What if I found myself in a situation where I no longer needed to work? Would it then make my purpose obsolete?

If you asked me what my purpose was in life today, I wouldn’t have a proper answer.

Therefore, my goal this year is to explore my purpose in more depth, explore more opportunities to challenge my limiting beliefs, and get closer to finding things that make life more purposeful.

I have a feeling it starts with rekindling the things I genuinely love and find joy in.

Finances

This past year, finances became a giant hurdle. Not feeling like you have enough to survive, puts you in a mode of constant anxiety. I’m so very lucky I had my partner to support me during this time, but still, it never sits right when you feel like you can’t survive on your own. When you’re focused on survival, nothing else matters. Even though finance is my last value, I would argue it’s taken up a lot more space this year than it should, emotionally and mentally.

To be frank, I work three different jobs because I feel like I have to. I’m trying to save as much as I can in fear I’m going to end up feeling the way I did this year.

However, I also know I can’t cling to this hoarding mentality. If I put aside the same amount of money every month towards my savings, this is enough. The rest I get to invest in the things I care about, and treat myself and others to experiences I’ll look back on with joy.

I’m going to invest in the things that make me happy- and it’s not going to be “a waste”. 

What’s the point of working so hard? It is to save towards an invisible goal? Or is it simply to feel a false sense of security?

I want to reconstruct my beliefs around money and security. Making it way more expansive and unlimited.

I can have a life filled with adventure, luxury, and guiltless passion.

One of my goals this year is stability. I’m not the type of person that thrives off hanging off the edge, I know this now. But when I feel safe, and much of this has to do with financial/ career security—I’m able to offer a lot more to the world.

The Year of Glowing Up

I’ve always joked to my friends— when is it my turn to glow up?  This year, it’s time for me to take charge and bring that transformation to life myself. Instead of having huge goals this year, I’m prioritizing taking care of myself, because I feel like I haven’t done this in a long time.  I’m also trying to rewrite the narrative in my brain of being “lazy”, “unproductive”, and “undeserving”. And instead “efficient”, “content”, and “deserving”.

We’re often conditioned to make ourselves feel less than, others in order to rise to the occasion. But honestly, this cycle is getting boring, exhausting, and redundant. Sometimes, it just feels good to know that what we’re doing and who we are as people, is enough, and we’re exactly where we need to be.

Let me know, what is your intention this year?

See you in the new year ❤️🥳

Lots of love and good wishes,