We were all taught the essence of teamwork from grade school, but the reality is the “team” was sought merely as a reflection of what each person’s grade was going to be that semester.
Hence, it was beneficial for groups to have a strong player, a ‘leader-type’ personality to organize, delegate and make sure things were done close to perfection. There were, of course, weaker players who, if lucky, performed just the bare minimum to get by.
For the strong player, group work was perceived as almost a burden as these people tend to want to take over the project with their personal ideas/values/high expectations.
But as you graduate from academic institutions, you’re suddenly launched into a world where there are a lot more strong players than weak.
In North American culture especially, autonomy is ingrained into us like law. How do “I” make my bank account larger? How am “I” going to ascend the career ladder? How am I going to get a spouse? There are a lot of “I”s in this culture, which makes teamwork almost feel distant and unfamiliar.
We often say we’re “team players,” but we only willingly participate when there’s a greater goal that can be achieved either ‘faster’ or more successfully with more hands on deck.
Think of soccer. There are definitely players that outshine the rest, but there’s no game if they don’t have a team.
Even in non-team based activities like chess, arguably, the player and their coach are a team because the coach helps the player form strategy and improve their playing skills.
Theoretically, if you want to win big and go far, you must work with a team. But for people regimented in their autonomous mindset, this can sometimes be difficult. Listening to and understanding other perspectives might be challenging when they don’t match their own. And you’re often tempted to crusade through a project without stopping to get anyone else’s opinion. Asking for help feels worse than seeing extended family members you don’t get along with. Especially as remote work has made autonomy all so more irresistible, here is how you can bypass the common judgment errors that come with steadfast independence.
Embrace your social instincts
Humans are social beings, there’s no denying it. This is why the highest level of punishment you can get in America is not death but solitary confinement.
At school and at work, we gravitate toward others. If there’s someone sitting close in proximity to us, it’s natural to become closer to them as the semester or year goes on. Don’t fight your human instinct to be social—because it can actually get you quite far.
When we’re uncomfortable with someone, we’re less likely to ask for help when needed. However, if we feel close and safe enough to disclose our honest thoughts, we’re more likely to reach for help to resolve a problem quicker.
Many of us hate receiving help, which explains why the last thing we do is ask for it. This results in a lot of lost time.
Learning to remove obstacles quickly that prevent you from carrying out your day-to-day tasks starts with embracing your social instincts. You don’t have to become best friends with the people you work with, but get comfortable enough so that you’re able to quickly and decisively take action if needed.
Think of the End Game
Put your stubbornness aside and look at the greater picture. What are you trying to accomplish?
How can you use the strengths of others to collectively achieve a grander vision? If you tried to do everything yourself, you wouldn’t get half the output than if everyone put 100% of their focus into one part of the larger puzzle.
Great projects require a whole village to put together. Dismissing others’ involvement and role in this will be your demise.
It’s helpful to regularly come together as a team to discuss what the grander vision is. We can get so lost in miscellaneous tasks that we sometimes forget what it is we’re actually working towards.
For leaders especially, forget the “Just do this, mindset.” Explain the project’s goal, expected outcomes, and why it’s important that this specific person does it. Match people’s strengths with their roles because they’re going to be much happier and more fulfilled doing something they naturally excel at and like, as opposed to something they’re average at and don’t like as much.
Trust me, if you have ever worked on a soul-draining project—the end result is much sweeter enjoyed with the team that pulled the long days with you, than alone
Practice Means Progress
Of course, it’s not an overnight switch to go from someone who’s used to doing things their own way—to suddenly a team player. You don’t learn how to play football overnight.
I like to break harder tasks into more manageable, actionable steps. Such as, if you’re stuck on something— take the initiative to make your challenge clear to your peers. Or, if you’re used to hogging the entire project, take a moment to listen to what other people have to say or contribute.
There are small yet little ways we can challenge ourselves daily at work or at school. We’re not always going to get it right, but the more we train ourselves to think collectively, the more you’ll notice your relationships in life improve and more satisfaction gained from seeing aspects of the whole team flourishing.
Conclusion
Everyone in this world yields a tremendous amount of power. But collective power is even more robust and can be leveraged to build incredible things. If you dream of achieving significance in any area of your life, you have to start thing about how you can incorporate other people’s views and strengths into your vision. Learning how to work harmoniously with others will bring even the most autonomous or introverted beings more explicit joy than they ever conceived was possible. Start with the end in mind, and as you go through various life experiences, think about how others have helped or enriched your life, and keep that in the back of your mind as you move forward to different opportunities.
Secret Prose 
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