Why Having an Ego Isn’t Always a Bad Thing

We’ve always associated having an ego with a bad thing. “Oh, he has a big ego.”

Except, if you’ve studied psychology, you might know that the ego is a necessary mechanism for us to regulate and mediate between acting on our immediate impulses.

The ego represents the tip of the iceberg model, at the conscious level. At the bottom of the iceberg, we have the “ID” which sits at the unconscious level. The ID includes “basic impulses like sex and aggression, seeking immediate gratification, irrationality, and impulsiveness.”

The ego on the other hand, “performs executive mediation between the id and the superego’s inhibitions and is mainly rational.”

The superego, by the way, is the moralistic and idealistic, “goody-two-shoes” side of you— the part of you that enjoys low-risk scenarios because it’s always “striving for perfection.”

So now that we have looked at the ego from this perspective, how can we use our egos to aid us in our day-to-day to become more proactive on our goals?

Rationality and Execution

Sometimes when we adhere to perfectionism and try to meticulously prepare and craft everything beforehand, the actual implementation phase gets pushed back.

The ego kicks us into “go” mode and allows us to have the confidence to act, rather than wait for circumstances to be ideal. 

If we go out there, experiment, and fail— the ego allows us to retry things without fear of reprimand. 

To explain this in better terms: we have these three different types of friends. The cheerleader who’s gung-ho on us doing anything and everything under the rainbow (id)

Then we have the Debby downer who advises us against doing anything (superego). Then, we have the ego that comes along and assesses which scenarios should we take a risk and go for it, and others not.

Like it or not, the ego helps us make executive decisions on our own accord.

Protection and Assertiveness

We’ve been trained our whole lives to respect authority and not question what was being taught. The majority of us have been mistreated in our personal lives or careers at one point or another. And most of us have probably put up with it.

Having a healthy ego allows us to have the confidence to address interpersonal issues and challenge authority when it’s necessary.

For example, if you’ve been working at the same place for over a year, and you’re bringing significant value, your ego will tell you, “yes, you deserve that raise.” You will then think of a strategy on how to confront your boss about it and execute that action in a timely manner, let’s say before the end of the year.

Emotional Regulation and Mediation

The ego prevents us from succumbing to our primal instincts but gives us enough leeway to take risks so that we’re able to experiment, iterate and improve.

 Taking risks, by default is emotional. Think about the stock market. Most investors are not guided by rationality, but rather by their emotions. Part of the ego’s job is to manage our emotions and turn every decision into a rational “will this benefit me or not.”

This is crucial for survival. For example, if you’re constantly giving into your superego and prioritizing the wellness of others before yourself, good luck supercharging your own health, career, and other important values you hold for yourself.

Sometimes, you do need to focus on what you want and have a plan of execution to get there. You can plan all you want, but if you’re not proactive about actually obtaining what you want, you’re going to have a difficult time achieving those things.

Again, chasing after your ambitions can be very emotional. What if I fail? Failure is scary, but having a healthy ego can help you overcome that fear and just take the risk. If it doesn’t work out, at least you can go back and strategize.

Conclusion

Ego has become a ‘dirty word’ over the years. If you actually get down to the root of it, the ego can serve our own interests in a way that allows us to pursue grander objectives. It can help us move forward from a place of stagnancy and help us assert ourselves against bullies or people that just don’t mean well in our lives.