For many of us entering or navigating our early twenties, there’s a lingering pressure to “get our lives started” as well as the notion that we only “have our twenties” once. I struggled with this a lot even before turning twenty. I languished over the fact I hadn’t accomplished very much, and in turn, it made me feel a lot like a failure. At the same time, I had an intrinsic craving to have a lot of fun. I liked going out to parties, socializing, I still love traveling. A part of me felt like I wasn’t ready to give up the fun nights and sun crawled days on the beach for laser-focused work.
In productive circles (you know exactly the kind I’m talking about), people tend to demonize social outings and never waste a second not being “productive”.
If you’re in the car, why are you listening to music? It should be a podcast!”. “You should never watch tv, books only!” “You should prioritize your work always before social events!”
Just like any kind of rules, I begin to hate these ones too. It subjects our existence to a boring set of values that I don’t adhere to. Surely those things can serve me at certain moments. I listen to podcasts, read books and work hard. However, I find that if I’m trying to force myself to listen to a podcast when I really just want to blast some tunes, my mind is going to be distracted anyway. I won’t be fully immersed in the learning experience. If I really don’t want to do the work, do you think the quality of it is going to be any good?
Schedule In the Things You Love to Do
When we get into hard work mode, it can be easy to forget about ourselves. We skip self-care days, we let our living spaces become cluttered and messy, we forget to see the people we care about.
Over time, although we might be building our careers which we think will benefit us in the long run, letting other important aspects of our lives and character slip, is not conducive to our overall success.
Remember, just because externally you appear more successful, does not mean on an inner level you will feel more at peace and good with yourself if you don’t consistently build on the other areas of your life.
Just like how we time block our day for meetings and work, we should also schedule in spaces to do the activities, experiences, or spend time with people that truly give us energy, so we feel refreshed periodically to put our best foot forward at our work.
To me, prioritizing regular exercise makes me feel better and enables me to sleep better as well. Seeing friends that genuinely love and care for me also gives me a jolt of energy especially if I’m feeling moody or tired from work. They remind me at the end of the day, what’s really important in life— being present, sharing experiences and forming deep connections.
Practice Compassion Towards Ourselves
Examining why we feel guilty when we take time off is crucial. Where does this belief stem from, that if we’re not constantly striving towards the next thing, it demeans our sense of self-worth?
Often we’re afraid that if we take a step back, we will become lazier. This is simply not true. If you’re naturally inclined to work hard, your mind will always find a way to get back into that state. Of course, everyone goes through days where they’re more tired and less inclined to do work. We need to work on not being our own harshest critic in these moments and accept that our mind and body needs the rest so it can perform well later. A lot of this comes down to how much we trust ourselves.
Intrinsic motivation comes from a place of deep satisfaction and feeling the sense of reward from accomplishing something. To tap into this more, we need to be kinder to ourselves.
When we constantly criticize or blame ourselves, it can actually inhibit us from working towards our goals (we start thinking what’s the point, I’m a failure).
We need to remind ourselves that we are worthy of rest and time apart from work. Set that time apart everyday (and set those boundaries with the people you work with) so you don’t drain yourself day in and day out. For me, this is simple as turning off work messages, lighting a candle and having reading time at the end of the night. Remember, the world is not going to fall apart if you don’t have that one message answered immediately. It’ll still be there in the morning.
Switch up Your Routine
The 9-5 never really worked for me. I didn’t like the idea of being constrained by numbers on a clock— having to squeeze in lunch at a certain hour (how are we more productive starving?), or dragging my feet until the end of my shift.
Luckily, I work from home now so I have a full reign of my schedule. I incorporate breaks in my day, work from different places (home, a cafe) and fit in meals and exercise. My days don’t really have a start or finish, because I try to maximize the quality of my work, instead of timing it (this is really hard, and I’m still working on it). I don’t agonize the time, because I get to do the things I want to do, when I want to. If a friend wants to meet for a coffee in the middle of the day, I would by far be more than happy to accommodate that. I work around my life— not the other way around.
If you have a remote work schedule, try your best to go do different things throughout the week. You’ll feel less bored, and perhaps more inspired to produce better output. I remember doing large chunks of work at airport layovers, and writing an entire book in my spare time in Spain. Sometimes you have to do short sprints of work, in order to accommodate the more interesting things going on in your life (sometimes, once in a lifetime experiences). In order for me to be present during my travels, I had to really try to work around it.
I still really struggle with taking time off. If I’m not working for economic reasons, I’m trying to learn something new or apply myself in some way . However, I don’t work in large quantities, rarely do I work more than 6 hours a day. Therefore, it’s hard for me to get burnt out, and I’m less inclined to take lengthy vacations (I travel and work, I don’t lay around for five days without touching a keyboard).
Conclusion
Even if you love your work, finding time apart from it can be healthy. Think about it, if you love someone, it doesn’t mean it’s more productive to your relationship if you spend 24/7 together. Similarily, you need some down time to reflect, to spend time doing activities that recharge you. You may find that by being intentional and consistent with these acts of self compassion, you’ll be more inspired and productive at work, and less prone to burning out.
Secret Prose 
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